just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
