I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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