I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
