i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm always down for nudity.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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