I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
