my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
