where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
MIDGETS
????
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
