16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
