I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she smelled like a LAN party
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
