Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
