I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
