you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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