Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
