if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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