508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I didn't notice because vodka
did i just pee glitter
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
