I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
