I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
