Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
