haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
