I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
