I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
