New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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