today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
