Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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