It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
