Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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