he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize