In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
