maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just cropdusted the office
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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