Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
