Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she peed on how many people?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
