What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize