Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
