Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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