Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
