i always forget guys have bellybuttons
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize