The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize