Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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