Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
this hospital has no fireball
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
