Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
