i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
