i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
