I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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