i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
