I'm going to jail i love you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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