just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
