So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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