do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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