He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize