Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
