found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
