i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
