Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
