Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
