problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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