She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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