I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
