I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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