I need help removing her.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Randomize
