Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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