i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
