he wants to bone in the snuggie
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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