Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize