I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
