Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
