Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
