Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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