i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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